In this day and age, we’re all extremely busy. Juggling between a job, multiple hobbies, our family life, romantic relationships, taking care of our bodies and the list goes on.
We simply don’t have the time to rummage through a million guys and go on hundreds of dates before meeting our perfect match. Sure, dating can and should be fun, but I do believe dating should be done wisely.
Okay, I’ll admit it. I’ve dabbled in a few (if not many) self-help books on dating. I don’t know if it makes me an expert in the matter (okay, it doesn’t) but I do feel somewhat wise enough to pass on my acquired knowledge.
I personally love Patti Stanger and her Millionaire Matchmaker show and books, one of my favorites being Become your own matchmaker. Not only is she funny, straightforward, and down right to the point, her advice is often valuable. Now of course I don’t always agree with her 100 percent of the time but most of the time she’s annoyingly right. It’s her business and area of expertise after all.
Patti is particularly bang on about one important rule: you must establish your 5 dating non-negotiables. I recall when I first told my girl friends about this important rule; they all looked at me and said “only 5?!” Now what I mean by non-negotiables, is NON-NEGOTIABLES. Not, say, he has to have blue eyes, or blonde hair. Non-negotiables are important “haves” or “have nots” that would make it impossible or nearly impossible for you to marry the man in the future. Think core values, culture, religion, education, anything that’s so important to you personally that to sacrifice it seems unthinkable. If you dream of becoming a mother one day, don’t waste days, months, or even years dating someone who’s telling you from day one that he doesn’t see children in his future. Chances are that he won’t change his mind anytime soon, or ever.
It’s easy. Make a list of your ultimate top 5 non-negotiables. Then save it on your phone, or fold the piece of paper in two and stick it in your wallet. Next time you go out on a date and the nice gentleman doesn’t have ALL 5 of your non-negotiables, stop seeing him. He may be wonderful but he’s just not a fit for you and the vision you personally have for your life. I promise you that you’ll save yourself a lot of time and headache in the future, and you’ll definitely feel more empowered when it comes to your romantic life.